Today I am remembering a friend. I am crying and I am eating sticky pecan buns. I have been kissing and kissing and kissing my beautiful baby girl and trying with all my heart to live in the moment, to appreciate all the joys in my life, to be fully present.
Now that my baby is sleeping, I have a moment to myself. A moment to feel sad because my friend died so suddenly two years ago. A moment to cry as much as I want without my little girl looking up at me so quizzically. A moment to try and turn that sadness into positive action.
I am going to use this momentary naptime to live as fully as I can - and not just by eating cake. I have texted my husband to tell him how amazing he is. I have emailed my parents to say how lucky I am that they are still in my life. And here I am, writing, which is what I have always wanted to do and yet somehow it always gets overtaken by other more practical things.
This sadness inside me churns into a battle cry. I want to shake myself. I want to shout to everyone - You’re alive! Live! Don’t waste a second! Call someone you never quite get round to calling, do something you really want to do but keep putting off because you are just too busy.
Please - take a moment to breathe in the miracle of life all around you. Smell the rain on the earth, touch the smooth leaves of a budding plant. Sing if you can and if you can't, sing anyway. Dance in your living room. Hold someone so close that you can feel their cheek on yours. Tell your partner how much you love them, especially if you've just had an argument. Pause. Make a move towards living your life more fully every day. And kiss your children. Above all, kiss your children.